Our founder has been a Boston area wedding DJ for more than a decade. He’s seen it all (or at least heard about it). Wedding DJs in Greater Boston run the gamut: attentive, personalized and professional, to lazy, sneaky, and conceited.
We’ve rounded up the worst of the worst for you here, so you identify them. (If we could stick them in a cage for you and throw away the key, we would. But since we can’t, just beware.)
- DJ Friend-of-a-Friend – Everyone knows a DJ, right? It’s your cousin’s friend. Your sister’s husband’s old roommate. Your grandmother’s caretaker. Weekend Warrior is another of his monikers. He may also go by DJ Leave-You-High-and-Dry. Why pay a reasonable amount of money for a professional wedding DJ when you get opt for this guy? He’s not full-time, and he mainly hosts karaoke at the VFW on Tuesdays, so don’t expect to get your questions answered in a timely fashion, if at all. Come the day of your wedding, who knows if he’ll even show up. And if he does, and one of his speakers tumbles onto Auntie Gertrude’s head, he doesn’t carry insurance – so you have that going for you.
- DJ Drunk Freeloader – Forget your boring old bridesmaids and groomsmen: This fine gentleman will be the life of your party. He’ll have at least one drink, if not many, while you’re paying him good money to stay focused on you and your guests. What person can’t stay focused while wearing beer goggles! If he’s a real peach, he’ll opt for hard liquor. And you did want him to put it on your open bar tab, right?
- DJ Chain Smoker – This dude will disappear from 10 to 20 minutes at a time, at least six times during your four hour reception. In addition to consuming tobacco sticks like they’re becoming illegal the morning after your wedding, he may take multiple, non-urgent phone calls in the foyer, within eye- and earshot of your guests, arguing with his girlfriend about the state of their relationship. (We wonder: Who will he hire to DJ his own wedding?)
- DJ Ego Entourage – Congrats! You’ve somehow managed to convince Vincent Chase, or Kevin Hart, to work your wedding. When you want someone to steal a solid 10 minutes and the spotlight, prior to your own featured grand entrance, to introduce himself, his company, his hype-man, his cousin, and his two cameramen (what, you didn’t expect your DJ to bring his own paparazzi?), this is your go-to guy. Throughout the party, he’ll be sure to reiterate, loud and proud on the microphone, who he is, where he’s from, and the other events for which you can hire him. Did you book a photographer and/or videographer for your big day? Sure you did. And this guy’s street-team will get right in between you, your hired pro shooters, and that perfect sunset you planned for.
- DJ Knows-Better-Than-You – This “professional” completely ignores your Must Play and Do Not Play music lists. He attempts to physically pull your clearly-comfortable -in-their-seats guests to the dance floor, or otherwise verbally harasses them to do so, repeatedly. When you’ve explicitly asked him not to, he brings those classy inflatable props to “liven up the party.” Not a big fan of the spotlight? He’ll bring attention to you every chance he gets.”
- DJ Wing It – Planning is not his forte, that’s for sure. He doesn’t connect with your function or catering manager prior to arriving on-site, so he has little idea if his timeline and flow coincides with their plans (and ultimately, yours). He didn’t bother to make sure he has all of your important songs, nor did he care to verify and rehearse your bridal party’s name pronunciations. Heck, he still may not know how to pronounce your name.
- DJ Casey Kasem – It isn’t really essential that your wedding DJ is under 40 years of age, or has music technology befitting a NASA space shuttle. Though, if his system is not digitally based, or only accommodates CDs, fielding your guests’ requests, or yours, in a timely manner or at all, may become an issue. Old Dusty may also have the burning urge to want to inform your guests of all details pertaining to the next song: Who wrote it, who sang it, who produced it, the year it was first released on vinyl, and why the group disbanded. How can your guests truly enjoy “I’m A Freak” (NSFW) if they don’t know the people Behind The Music?
- DJ Pass-You-Off – This gem of a human being knows full well that he won’t be performing at your wedding, on the very day he books you. He feigns sickness as least 20 times a year, in order to take a better paying gig or simply go camping/drinking with his buddies. On the other hand, this may be the individual running the hardcore sales department for that “busy, popular” (read: impersonal) wedding DJ company, who will actually have the stones to tell you early on that you will have little to no contact with the man or woman who will show up to DJ your wedding – because they don’t even know themselves. That’s how you selected your future husband or wife, right? Completely blind, like Coming To America.
We here at Entertain New England LLC know we’re not the perfect wedding DJs for everyone. But we’re positive that we don’t fall into any of the categories above. Be cautious but always have fun and be relaxed in your wedding day planning and decision-making. We wish you the very best!